Someday

someday...my
dreams and plans will be accomplish
and someday...
i will be longing for something no more
and someday...
i will be what i wanted myself to be...
because someday...
all my endeavors will be granted...my determination,perseverance and patience will be totally paid off for someday God hear the deepest longing here in my heart.

So Grateful

Dear God,
 thank You so much for making me so happy...
thank You for the best of health...for making me successful on my ordinary and simple life...for the best set of friends that i have...for my family especially for my parents.
There's no perfect parents in the world but they tried to be the best that they can be for their children though i always complain for the kind of upbringing they used to brought up to all their children but i know it is already their very best. Sorry for all the complains i have been said to You...sorry for the close mind that i gave You when i feel that life seems so hard to understand...i have no right to complain and You given me no reason to complain at all...the problem is with me...i think abruptly...and complain but despite all that i did You still there for me everytime...You are always been my great defender, my best protector, my Guiding light that forever see me through...
Thank You for the comfort... when I shed tears because of being hurt You made sure a day wouldn't last without making me laugh at the end of the day..You love me so much i couldn't fathom...I love You too...and take me to the way You always prepare for me...help to live a life that is in accordance to Your plan and will...
Thank You so much for the best of life that You always give me. I am so fortunate because of You.Thank You...for a billion folds.
Teach me, my dear God to accept the things that i couldn't have no matter how hard i tried and prayed. Teach me to understand it with an open mind and heart knowing that with Your decision for my life will always be the best for me...
I look forward to the days that unfolded slowly for the answers to all the wonders and questions that i have...I love You and till the next post....hmm thank You for being me.

Just ME

when I was young and little 

so fragile and vulnerable

I grew as years gone by 

Difficult times shape me by

Now I become stronger

But the same as before

Some things never change

Things I never learned to outgrew

I'm still a loner and a dreamer

A bit shy but confident

A coward but a fighter

Never did I thought I was born a winner

So innocent from deep within

When I laugh or smile...you know its pure

And through my eyes you'll see...

pain I long endure...

I try to hide it with a smile

Work hard to giggle for a while

Hoping for wound to mend in time

wishing that someday you'll be

whole again heart of mine

getting worse

its so sad to think that i learned the way of being bad. I learned to fight and depend myself far from before....i knew i'm strong, life teaches me to.I learned the hard way and it etched in my memory...together with that I've change from being a good girl I've used to for so long to a woman with so much hatred and vengeance in the heart. I learned to tolerate my anger and become fearless..my pride..its there since the day i was born.
Now I'm a full blown woman..being a person i am now i know its the result by the person who never treat me right..but thanks to them..i learned to be strong..that leads me too..to missed the person i am before...so patience..could take all the ruthless words anyone can say..the one who never know how to defend her ground....
I miss my old self so well..but it sad to say that I learned a lot from being good and that i'd been hurt so bad by the people who see me as worthless....even though i changed a lot the old me is still in my heart but it is too well hidden that the only person can see it are the person i only care about...

Been Hurt So Bad

day by day I think of you
so long ago i knew i love you
So many times I'd been mad
never thought I would be hurt so bad

memories of you taunting me
bearing the pain on my own
thinking i could be strong
yet i feel weak and about to breakdown

Days move so slow when feeling blue
try to fake a laugh and pretend to smile
Though my mind run a miles
I manage to get by with a gentle smile

Learning to forget you is like impossible
taking hold you in my mind
wishing time can be rewind
since it couldn't be...please catch my last kiss in the wind...

i compose and dedicate this poem to the one who made me cry...to the man who made me wish so hard for him to come back...
i hope that someday i will be able to be back to my old self...that was never been broken by love...though i'd been hurt so bad i learned and it made me stronger...but i wish i could get back the time when i never knew what love is...

saying a little thank You

Lord thank You for letting me pass the Nursing Licensure Exam...thank You so much because it is not only making me happy but also it made my parents happy and proud...and not just my parents but to my grandparents as well...

to the people who stand behind me all this years thank you very much...for the trust and support that you give me...thank you for depending and protecting me to the people who want me down..really want me down..thank you so much for the helping hand that enable me to stand on my ground..thank for the encouragement..and all...
And Dear God thank You for the surprise that You give me..You know what it is...thank You for answering my prayers for quite a long time now..I Love You More..may Your plan and will be it done unto me,,i love You..

guilty

i just wanted to ask sorry for offending to our God Almighty..i'm sorry for i failed to keep my promise Dear God..i acknowledge my shortcomings and ask Your forgiveness..i know You love me more than life itself..and You have given  me everything i wish for and yet i still offended You..please forgive me..though i love You so i cold not escaped temptations at times..i'm sorry..i hope i will be more stronger to defeat the call of evil..and with all the sins that i have i know that You love me more than enough..in everyday i experienced it...my heart knew it..my mind could testify it...though i am as i am You still there for me and never ever did that You lead me astray..You are there to guide me all the time..giving me strength when i thought i could no longer hold on..You pushes me to my limits to unleash the unlimited capability that i never thought i had..for all the favors..the blessings that You bestowed in me thank You very much..for everything that You have been given to me thank You..for what i am today thank You...i love You and Dear God...please do guide me in every step that i make and in every step that i am going to take..be there for me as always....

     this is my birth flower..i just happened to knew it a while ago..its name is iris....
from deep within there's a guilt i carried with me for failing to keep my promise to the One who created me wonderfully...i'm so sorry!

church hopping

i just came from the pilgrimage with my co-reviewee's and friends at the same time.It is my very first time to visits in different churches, it is indeed overwhelming and i feel good about it.It is also my first time to went under the cave.It is located in Guadalupe Cebu City..it's cute and so solemn... i love it there...i just did not make it to go to other churches for some important matters.. i need to attend the need of my brother as his companion in his enrollment...i'm so tired but i'm so happy that i made it in 6 churches and that he will enrolled this coming Monday...i just wish that someday i will be able to get a good job to support.. for my family and relatives...i prayed also that i will be able to make on the board exam after that got a job..a nice job with high salary...and finally to settle down with someone i dream about all this year...Lord thank for this day..thank you for the people who supported me... bless them my God...and guide me always..be with me all the time...i will surrender everything to you...thank You for all the favors that You have been given to me my Dear God..I LOVE YOU.

this flowers is dedicated to all the Saints whom i have taken the flowers being offered by them..i took the petals as my remembrance when i have visited them..i hope someday i will be able to replace it..i'm so sorry about that..thank You all for the Prayers... it sound foolish but i feel good when i have taken it with me..it feels like they are with me all the time..i don't want to promise but i will do my best that someday i have the capacity to offer You Mother Mary and to All the Saints a flowers...i love You and thank You...

just when i knew...

i knew i have an eye for u...but i never thought that what u said was a sign that u felt the same way...maybe i had felt it too but i let it passed because as for me..your not my ideal man..i want you but i don't need you..i dreamed of you but i don't want you for real...i just wanted you...liked you a lot..and i keep on praying for the best of you...

i can't understand what i feel for you but one thing is for sure i like you a lot.....i have crush on you but there's no way on earth that you will know about it..its a secret i could not share with anyone..i'm just keeping you here in my heart until i think of you no more...but whoever destined to be with you for the rest of your life she can count herself truly lucky for having you.....

.......from..... Cinderella..

                      who keep on waiting for her prince to come along!

just a simple thank you

...mother's day is approaching..i would like to thanks to my mama for the love..for the care..for the unlimited understanding...for the unmeasurable patience...for molding me..for everything..thank u so much ma..i do love u so much that it hurts...i wanted to give u everything...i hope i could...and for my lola..happy mother's day also la..thank u for supporting me until this time...for everything that u went through just for me..thank u for that...my diploma..it will always be dedicated to you..its your's. i am so happy i am bound to live being guided by someone like u...u inspire me in ways u never ever know...how i wish u know...i love u equally to the love i have for mama..i value both of u far beyond forever could give...and to God Almighty...thank You for a million folds..for all the favors You give me..
i hope Lord that You guide on my incoming board examination..i don't want to fail..because i will dedicate that success for my lola...i don't want to disappoint her so please let me pass..Dear God..i could take the failure but i couldn't take it if it hurt my grandmother and my family as will..but..whatever the outcome of it i will lay it in Your hands thank You.. so much for everything my Guiding Light.

moving forward

After all the struggles of finishing my degree. I am now facing another challenge that prove the worth of my four years of studying..to pass the incoming board examination this coming June 30 and July 1, 2012. Life is always been moving forward for the better and finding the meaning of our existence..its always been a battle that we always wanted to be a winner to be satisfy...or simply to prove our worth. I don't know if i could pass since everything is uncertain..but if I were to ask I wanted to pass the board not for myself but for the love of my life who expected a lot from me. Whatever the result maybe i hope that it be for the better under God's plan and whatever that maybe i wish that it will lead me to the path the reason why I was created. Lord do guide me in every step that I take...in every breath that i make..and in everything that i am about to do in this journey. Be my guiding light for all of the time..and thank You for everything..for the love and pain..for the sorrow and happiness..for all the things that made me stronger..and all. I LOVE YOU..and do Guide me.

I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude to the people who toiled hard for me to obtain my bachelor degree..to my lola who stand by me everytime..thank you for the support and sacrifices..to my manong vanie thank you for fighting to everyone else just to pursue my degree..and to ate cris thank you for the financial support u extend to me...to jinjin thank you for being a good companion all throughout the course of my profession..to my family thank for holding on..for defending me and simply for believing my capacity that i could make it..you are all my reasons to pursue on my dreams..and lastly to GOD Almighty for giving me all the people that I need..people who helped me out..motivates me...inspires me..understands me and all..thank you very much for the countless blessings that i received and thank you for all the things that I am about to received in this lifetime..i'm forever Yours...

And Lord God as I about to undergo another steps in my journey help me to pass all the tests and trials that cross my path...help me to face the obstacles with confidence and hope...help me to be determine in succeeding all my endeavors...and walk with me as i travel in this journey.May I see the positive side of life especially when things won't go according to what i had planned.Be my strong defender in every breath that I take..and again thank for everything!

To my lola i will be forever grateful to have you..i love you so...to my mother..you cannot measure how much i love you...u mean the world to me..both of you.I am so lucky to have you all!

i feel all the love in the world surrounds me...and with a smile in my heart i could say that...i am capable of loving again after a long long time....

white love

Its my lola's birthday!!!she is the best grandmother in the world to me, the best mother in the world to all her children..and she will always be...i love you lola...so much that it hurts...it hurt me to see how hard you worked for me and for the family.Thank you for all the sacrifices, the support and the trust you give to me.You are supposed to be enjoying from the fruit of your labor but again you choose to go all the hard way for me to reach this far..though i did my best to make you happy to reciprocate all the good things you give me.. still i feel it in my heart that its not enough and it will never be enough for me. How i wish i could do better every time..God knows how much i wanted to make you happy, wanted to lighten up your load and to make  eveything to be easy for you.

But for now i can do nothing about it but to be a good girl you want me to be. For a long time now, I dream to give you my best someday...on the day when i am capable enough to carry all the loads you shoulder.

I love you lola and oh how i love all those wrinkles, the gray hair and everything about you. I always pray to God for your happiness and good health through out a lifetime. I love you and thank you for playing  a big part of my life..for making me as what i am now..for opening the greater possibilities and for most of the time for helping me out..i will be forever grateful to you and to God Almighty of having you. Take care always because i love you beyond compare and more than life itself .Happy happy birthday! wishing you many more birthday to come, good health, and may all your heart desires will come true.I wanted the best for you and i hope the Lord will grant me the capability to make you happy.. just wanted to make you happy. 

i'm so bless!!

long ago i thought i would never experience the kind of life i have right now ..i thought that it was just a dream..though my life was never been perfect yet the imperfections of it make my life so colorful..so happy... so wonderful and i am so excited in each brand new day of what life brings may it be happiness or sadness i will welcome it with arms wide open.. knowing that everything has its purpose why it happen.I know God would not give me a burden heavier than i can carry and the test of time always bring the best out of me because every time i stumble i learned and that's make me the best of me like i never ever been before...and God love me much..because even the wanton into something i never prayed for..He grant all those though not so fast but it always ended me up with the biggest surprise i could ever hold for the rest of my life...and for that i am blessed more than i could ever think of with so many many things i could no longer count on... the hardship in life thought me to appreciate even the little blessing that come my way and big happiness came from appreciating the little of it that would sum up more and more ..
And to the people who always make me feel so bless: manong vanie.. .aunt Christine..Jinjin..my family and of course my grandparents especially my lola Gloria...to all of you thank you very much for all the kindness and support you all give to me..and to God Almighty for making my life so wonderful who always stand by me every time...thank You for everything Dear God..keep me with You for always...and if trials strike my way help me to fight for it with all of my might You gave to me...I LOVE YOU and i am always YOURS to keep.

It's Always Been You and All Because of You

You are always been a tattoo here in my heart....simply because you are the best thing that happened in my life. Though your gone now, the memories you left behind is worth all my while. I love to remember the way i love you, the way i cried an ocean because of you, the way i was hurt all because of losing you...and i love the way how i'd get up and moved on because every painful days i spent of thinking you can't be mine forever uncover the inner strength i never thought i have. Because of you i realize i am strong enough to handle everything.
I love all the pain, the joy,sorrow and happiness you brought to my life...and right now by simply remembering you I still love you...Its been 6 years already that you've been gone but the feeling never change and I do miss you much...until this time its always been you..that I love..I never known i'm capable of loving someone too much until you unleash that hidden capability i have inside of me.Wherever you are right now I always prayed for your lifetime happiness,contentment in life,good health, abundance in blessings and above all...that the one you be with and you choose to be with for the rest of your life will love you more than the way i have love you...the one who will cherish more than i could...i love you that i am still hurt all this time but thinking that we parted ways because it's God's will is enough to brighten up my day because He uses the painful way i ever known for the BEST of us..i was hurt indeed and i learned the hard way..in a way that even a lifetime memories cannot forget...


I smiled remembering our cheesy jokes ....its crazy yet so funny...I love how you get jealous of someone you thought that caught my eye...I miss the feeling of being secure by just a simple but loving embrace you did..i love all of you...I love your weaknesses...oh how i love the bad side of you..God knows how much...
In this coming days of hearts I will dedicate my day remembering the days we shared.